my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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