And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
