yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
