Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
