Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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