If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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