Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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