sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I AM VODKA MAN
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
