Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
a search helicopter?!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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