I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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