you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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