Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
