I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
