I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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