you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
