Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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