yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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