i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
foreskin is a definite game changer
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
