Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I puked a lego.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
