i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
