before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
