I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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