she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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