apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
