i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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