Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
