Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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