Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
