Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
