dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
