yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
