My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
