you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
