She is in my trunk
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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