I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
