If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
