We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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