I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
