your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
