That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
