Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They took my balls.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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