'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
