I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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