I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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