Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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