Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My ass is underappreciated
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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