Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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