I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
