I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
