The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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