mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
