Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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