I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
